RELATIONSHIP BUILDING REPORT CARD

Give yourself a standard letter grade [A-F] next to each item:

_______ I was mindful of the way I communicated; I considered my partner’s perspective and communication style/needs

_______ I listened effectively without engaging in blocking activity such as mind reading, selective attention, sparring, etc.

_______ I made an effort to tell my partner something positive (e.g., compliment them or express pleasure)

_______ I engaged in an enjoyable activity with my partner (e.g., visit a new place, see a movie, dinner out, sex, mutual hobby, etc) 

_______ I did not engage in “unfair fighting” when discussing things with my partner (e.g., I focused on the immediate issue, did not yell or make threats, spoke honestly and assertively, took a timeout when needed, looked for a win-win scenario)   

*You can grade yourself and your partner and compare the scores on both to discuss differences in perception that might be contributing to relationship issues

*This can be used as a one-time assessment or completed regularly to facilitate productive conversations and maintain accountability