Give yourself a standard letter grade [A-F] next to each item:

_______ I was mindful of the way I communicated; I considered my partner’s perspective and communication style/needs

_______ I listened effectively without engaging in blocking activity such as mind reading, selective attention, sparring, etc.

_______ I made an effort to tell my partner something positive (e.g., compliment them or express pleasure)

_______ I engaged in an enjoyable activity with my partner (e.g., visit a new place, see a movie, dinner out, sex, mutual hobby, etc)

_______ I did not violate any of the “Fair Fighting” rules when discussing things with my partner (e.g., focused on the immediate issue, did not yell or make threats, spoke honestly and assertively, took a timeout when needed, looked for a win-win scenario)

*You can grade yourself and your partner and compare the scores on both to discuss differences in perception that might be conttributing to relationship issues

*This can be used as a one-time assessment or completed regularly to facilitate productive conversations and maintain accountability